Find out how to write a humorous retirement speech by a retiree with samples. Why would i prefer to write funny retirement speech because it’s a time where all you need thanks to you colleague who have been with you for a long time.
So, at the time of retiring it is good to departure with all in a smile.
Everything is settled, you have organize a retirement farewell and you have even sent invitations with a good text to make sure that the colleagues and friends you appreciate being there.
In case if you didn’t send the invitations than you can checkout: Elegant Retirement Party Invitation Wording and Samples.
here you have one last challenge to take up the last task to be carried out to which you had not thought: to write a funny speech of departure in retirement!
You are in front of the blank page, not obvious to find the right words to make a nice humorous retirement speech that expresses everything you want to say:
Summarize your career, the good times, the good colleagues, the worst (and there can have a lot), bosses, successful projects but also those totally missed.
Let’s try here to give you tips to write your retirement speech. these tips will get you out of the blank page and allow you to make this speech, YOUR speech. After all, who knows you better than you?
Introduce your retirement speech with humor
Some advice first, if you are comfortable with the speeches you can very well pronounce your speech learned by heart, it will be of the most beautiful effect.
But if it is not the case do not take the risk, do not hesitate to print your retirement speech on a sheet to pronounce it.
In this case, print your speech in large font size, you will avoid having to paste the sheet near you to read it.
Do not forget to keep eye contact with your audience, nothing more annoying than a speaker who reads his speech in his sheet without looking at the guests.
If you have opted for humorous passages, set the tone on the humor phrases, that your jokes do not fall flat.
Let’s start with the introduction! Humor is the master word, for your speech of departure to the retirement, Start therefore with a humourous bait phrase.
For example, you may start with a joke about the fact that they have made you work to the end with this speech and that finally, it is perhaps the most complex mission they have entrusted to you!
You can also play on the angst of the blank page, I wanted to prepare a speech, but I stuck in front of the blank page, so I tried to ask Google.
Yes Google, that’s how young people do today, copy and paste and it’s earned, But believe that Google does not know me!
Continue with humor on your missions
Then, continue your speech by reminding you of your first day, the first day is a day that everyone holds and which will strike the collective unconscious:
I remember my first day in 22(your age). I was greeted by Mr —– (Name of your colleague), Who still had hair at that time (vary the joke according to the character!), I started working on the X project, to believe it was a hazing.
So sprinkle some striking projects and anecdotes while turning to derision a few situations. If you have holes, do not hesitate to ask your close colleagues for some highlights to prepare your speech.
Not to mention your colleagues and their little tics
Do not forget to pass on to highlight tics of colleagues. This is the opportunity to say things that everyone thinks in a low voice but that nobody confessed.
it’s your last day promised you will not be fired! It is the good day to make fun of the look and beautiful ties of Mr. Smith, Mrs. Jhon’s short dresses, Ms. Kristen’s private phone calls or even a little too many fingers Often in Mr. Durand’s nose.
It is also an opportunity to thank the colleagues who have helped you throughout your career.
And a short note for the bosses, who stayed less than you.
In this game, do not forget the bosses who succeeded one another at the head of the company, take the opportunity to pay him a beautiful tribute.
A good joke is to say that if ultimately like everything to everyone you have sometimes been afraid
In above section, we were discussing different points to set up a humorous retirement speech for your retirement farewell but if you are not a retiring person but your colleague is retiring and you want to wish him and make their retirement unforgettable with a funny retirement speech.
Here is best humorous retirement speech for you.
Funny Retirement Speech for a colleague’s retirement farewell
Start your speech with a funny joke or littler humor,
Wow, now you can get up late, do not shave, sit all day reading the newspaper and spend the whole week doing nothing productive!
Hey, exactly like when you were working!
In this way, you will get the attention of everyone, make eye contact with retiring person throughout your speech and mention all his success stories that he has done in his professional career.
Funny retirement speech sample
You are leaving today to retire.
So here we are at your retirement farewell.
I’m not so sure… You who pretended to work… Brilliant strategist to do as little as possible…
Ah, sure you’re going to be in good shape and healthy during your retirement… Not too worn, little trick…
Well, I admit I am a little jealous… I have many years of work before I retirement like you…
You were a wonderful colleague… Helpful and always listening to others…
The work did not scare you… Shutdowns? Very little for you courageous worker… Only death could have stopped you from working like a sick…
All your colleagues are gathered for your retirement farewell to tell you good wind…
Your retirement is well deserved… You are only sixty years old… So you have about forty years to live if God wants…
It offers you a life of pleasure, where work is a choice, even a leisure…
In your happiness, do not forget to come and see us…
To see you again will be for us the greatest of joys…
It is time for you to rest, fatigue is visible on your face, Your file has been forwarded with a small recommendation to the Pension Fund and with this bonus, you will be able to live easily with your family.
Good and long retirement to you… Young retired !!!!
On behalf of all your colleagues.
Suggestion: Find more about How to make your retirement speech memorable.